


One True Passion

by fanfic_roulette



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Edible Underwear, F/M, Fanfic roulette, secretly a weeb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-08 11:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3207581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfic_roulette/pseuds/fanfic_roulette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ron had never been good at gifts, but at least this year he had remembered his anniversary. Harry had only had to remind him once! But even though that had been weeks ago and he had had plenty of time to think about a suitable gift, in the end, he had made a desperate trip to Spencer’s to find something, anything, that he could get for Hermione to mark 5 years together. Admittedly, the candy G-string he had tucked away in his top dresser drawer was a gift that could be enjoyed by both of them, but he thought that maybe that was just an added bonus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One True Passion

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the product of a drunken collaborative effort that we have called [fanfic roulette](http://rabidcentipede.com/fanfic.php). Starting with a set of four prompts randomly selected from a list that we had generated, a five-person group took three-minute turns writing sections of this piece. Full disclaimer: we were drunk, not everyone necessarily knew the pairing or fandom, and it wasn’t always entirely clear what was going on. With that in mind, please enjoy.
> 
>  **This fic’s prompts:**  
>  everything is terrible  
> cheating  
> edible underwear  
> secretly a weeaboo

Ron had never been good at gifts, but at least this year he had remembered his anniversary. Harry had only had to remind him once! But even though that had been weeks ago and he had had plenty of time to think about a suitable gift, in the end, he had made a desperate trip to Spencer’s to find something, anything, that he could get for Hermione to mark 5 years together. Admittedly, the candy G-string he had tucked away in his top dresser drawer was a gift that could be enjoyed by both of them, but he thought that maybe that was just an added bonus. 

That night, after the dinner plates had been cleared away and it was just them in the bedroom, Hermione was laying lazily on the bed as Ron pulled out the small package.

“Ron! You even got a gift!” Hermione beamed, furrowing her eyebrows ever so briefly at the Hello Kitty wrapping paper before unwrapping the gift. She opened it with gusto, and blushed deeply when she saw the candy in a vague panty-like shape. “Oh! It’s… er… wow!”

“Er, do you like it?” Ron blushed a shade deeper than she had been, rubbing his neck nervously.

“It’s...it’s a thing. It’s a gift that it is. It’s an Attack on Titan edible g-string…” Hermione stammered.

“Yeah, so,” Ron prompted.

“That’s terrible. Like everything is terrible. I just mean Attack on Titan is terrible. Like what the fuck, why is it a popular anime,” Hermione finally said.

“I think,” Ron tried to interject.

“Like are you cheating with me? Are you trying to get rid of me? SNK is that bad,” Hermione continued.

“What no! Of course not! I am sharing my one true passion with you! This is the ultimate sign of trust. Leading up to the sex, I was going to read you my Erwin/Levi fic!” Ron said.

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Oh my goddd, Ron. I’m embarrassed to be around you. Like, you would think that I would be excited to find out that you are also secretly into anime, but to find out that you have such shit taste? Honestly.”

Ron’s face blushed even deeper red, if that was even possible. If it was possible for his dick to recede up into his own stomach, he felt like that was happening.

“Oh, and what exactly do YOU consider good anime then, miss always-the-expert-on-everything?”

“Neon Genesis Evangelion, obviously. If you’re not watching that, you might as well just be watching shitty korean knock-off anime.”

“Uh,” Ron said, trying to resist the impulse to slide out of his chair and onto the floor in sheer humiliation. “Maybe...maybe we ought to forget that this ever happened?”

“I wish I could,” Hermione said haughtily. “But I suppose I ought to give you your present, although you hardly deserve it.”

“That sounds wonderful.” Ron was desperate to change the subject. “What is it, darling?”

Still frowning at him, she handed over a much larger, soft package. Avoiding her gaze, he tore the wrapping paper off enthusiastically, only to reveal…

“A Naruto onesie?” he practically yelped, slamming the wretched thing down onto the table. “And you were trying to talk shit about my taste in anime?”

“Naruto isn’t an anime,” Hermione sniffed. “It’s a work of art.”

“Art?” Ron repeated incredulously. “Art?! I--I can’t believe that you’ve been watching Naruto behind my back. It practically feels like you’ve been cheating on me!”

“Well, if that’s how you’re going to be about it,” Hermione sighed, getting to her feet, “Then I suppose that we have nothing left to say to one another.”

“Darling, wait,” Ron said desperately, realizing too late that his moment of possessive jealousy had been nothing but a product of toxic masculinity. “Can’t we meet in the middle? Sailor Moon, perhaps?”

“Oh, baby,” Hermione said enthusiastically, sliding around the table to drape herself across his lap. “I have the perfect costume in my closet…”


End file.
